Leadership Like Jesus

As we talk about the role of the husband, we have to talk about his God-given position as head of the home. When we looked at the wife's submission, we saw that one of the reasons for her submission, as found in Ephesians 5:23, was this: "For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church." Who said? God said, right there in His Word, the Bible. The wife, we learned, was to voluntarily submit to the headship of her husband, just as the church submits to the headship of Christ. As John MacArthur writes,

"God designed someone to be in charge and someone to help; someone to be in authority and someone to be submissive; someone to be the leader and someone to be the follower; someone to take care of the provisions and someone to be provided for. The man had the role of leadership, and the woman had the role of follower. The man protected, provided, preserved, and cared for the woman. She was a fitting, or suitable, helper for him."

That was all part of God's plan at creation. The husband was to be the provider, protector, sustainer, and the authority within the home. This didn't happen at the curse, but was built into the framework of creation, even the framework of our very natures as man and woman. To go back to this model for marriage isn't to live under the curse, but it is to return to Eden and to the plan of God.

But we also learned that the husband is to lead in the home in the same way that Christ leads in the church. So the question than is, what does it mean to lead? How does a man Scripturally lead his family? Is he to demand submission and obedience, with a club if necessary? Is he to constantly give orders and force subjection like a dictator? Is he supposed to act like a master to a slave or a boss to an employee? No! No! No! That is the curse, remember?

Then how? How is a man to be the head of his home? As Christ is head of the church. But that begs the question, what kind of leadership did Christ model? How does He function as head of the church? We find the answer in Matthew 20:25-28. In this discourse, the mother of James and John comes to Jesus and asks if her two boys can have top billing in Jesus' kingdom. The others are all jealous and angry wanting that top billing for themselves, so Jesus has to set them straight about the meaning of true Christian leadership. This is what He says in Matthew 20:25-28,

"But Jesus called them to Himself and said, 'You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and those who are great exercise authority over them.Yet it shall not be so among you; but whoever desires to become great among you, let him be your servant. And whoever desires to be first among you, let him be your slave - just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and give His life a ransom for many.'"

The way of the world is the way of the curse, and unfortunately too many homes are lead by husbands that "Lord it over them." But it is not supposed to be that way. Jesus set the example of servant leadership. How far did he take this servanthood? He took it to the point of death, even the death on the cross. Jesus died for the church. That's what Christian leadership is all about.

Jesus taught that Christian leadership is servant leadership. It's submissive. Really? Can that be right? That doesn't sound like the leadership model I read in the secular books. But that is the model Scripture gives us, and the model husbands are to follow. Ephesians 5:21 taught, "Submitting to one another in the fear of God." Each of us are supposed to submit one to another within the church. We are to act toward each other like Jesus did in Philippians 2:5-8,

"Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, who being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. And being found in the appearance as a
man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross."

That is the kind of leadership a man is required to provide for his wife. He must become her servant, and yes, even be willing to die for her.