"Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear."This is, of course, talking about an unsaved husband who comes to Christ for salvation because of his wife's quiet, godly example. He comes to Christ because he can see Jesus reflected in her. she is accurately portraying what a Christian should be.
But if that works to get an unsaved husband saved, you just might win over your insensitive husband to be the kind of husband he needs to be in the same manner. It may never happen, but it might. And how much easier is it to win him over with proper Biblical submission than with constant argument or nagging? Let love conquer evil. Let responsibility shame irresponsibility. Let grace, not hostility, win him over.
After all, how did Christ win you? 1st Peter 3:8-9 says:
"Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another; love as brothers, be tenderhearted, be courteous; not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary blessing, knowing that you were called to this, that you may inherit a blessing."That blessing will certainly be a closer relationship with God, not to mention reward in heaven. But it just also might be a changed husband. Linda Dillow has commented on just that:
"I cannot promise you that if you respond with a blessing when you are hurt orIsn't that a great reason to be obedient? As Gary and Betsy Ricucci write, "A magnificent marriage begins not with knowing one another but with knowing God." Are you drawing closer to God. Your marriage to a difficult mate might be a tool in the process.
wounded, your husband will change. I cannot promise you a life of happiness and personal fulfillment, but I can promise you that you are living according to your purpose and calling as a Christian; you are obeying the will of God and there is peace in obedience. The first reason you are to respond this way is not so that you can secure a hoped-for change in your mate, but because it is God's desire that you make that kind of response."
Let me tell you what won't work. One of the biggest complaints that wives have is that their husband won't take any responsibility. He is supposed to be the head of the home, but he isn't. He goes off playing instead of taking his responsibilities like a kid who never grew up. So what does a typical good wife do? She takes over. He doesn't pay the bills, so she gets a job and pays them. Now he doesn't need to worry about that, so his money can go to buy his toys. He doesn't discipline the kids, so she takes over. Soon, he doesn't have to worry about anything. What has this good, God fearing woman done? she has allowed her husband to continue in his irresponsibility. She has let him get away with it.
Now the husband and wife are supposed to be a team, both pulling together. And there is nothing wrong with a wife taking over a lot of the household duties. But your husband will never become the leader in the home that way. Nor will it work to belittle him every time he fails. How much better to step back and say, "You are the head of our home. What is your decision? We will abide by that." Let hem make the decisions and face the consequences for them. Again, you have to decide where the line is to be drawn, and you can't sit there and let the kids starve, but you need to let him take responsibility for his family. You can help him become the husband God has called him to be.