Submission is Not Absolute

Over the past couple of weeks we have been talking about submission from Ephesians 5:22. If you add in the parallel passage from Colossians 3;18, "Wives, submit to your own husband, as is fitting in the Lord," we see that God considers submission an appropriate thing. That is what fitting means. Submission is the right thing for a wife to do. For her to submit to her husband is a beautiful thing - a thing that pleases God.

Also, this is an unqualified command. This command is made to every wife regardless of her spacial standing, education, I.Q., or spiritual maturity. It doesn't say submit to your husband unless you happen to be smarter, better educated, etc. - and if you are, then it is OK to usurp his God-given authority. It doesn't say that.

This command is to every wife. Later in Ephesians it will also command the wife to respect her husband. That is why young girls really ought to be careful in who they pick. I've seen way too many young girls let their mothering instinct kick in, and they pick some maggoty, drug riddled loser to marry because they think they can reform him. Then they wonder why they can't stand to live with him. Why can't he hold a job? Why can't he stay out of jail? Or whatever. If she wants to reform him, she should become a social worker, not marry him. Or they pick some carefree guy who makes them laugh all the time and have fun. Then they wonder why he can't ever stop joking and talk with them or take life's responsibilities seriously. They need to pick carefully, because God expects you to live and submit to that man you have chosen. He is to be the leader of your home. Young women can't pick their spouse for all the wrong reasons then not like who they have picked and use that as an excuse not to submit.

It says in Ephesians 5:24 that the wives are to submit "in everything." This means in every area of life. Now there is a caveat to this. As with many commands of Scripture, they are not absolute. They are not required in every situation. For instance, the command, "Thou shalt not kill," doesn't apply in times of war. God sent Israel to war many times in the Old Testament. Also capital punishment was required buy God - the execution of a convicted criminal. Lying is another of the Ten Commandments. But Rahab was commended by God for hiding the spies and lying about whether they were there. There are legitimate exceptions.

Likewise, the wife is to submit to her husband "as unto the Lord," but not against the Lord. The Lord is the Big Boss. If your husband wants you to rob a bank, you aren't required to because God already told you not to steal. And he's the Big boss. Nor does a wife have to involve herself in wife swapping if her husbands wants her to, God has already given a command against adultery, and her first submission is to God. Then her submission is unto her husband "as unto the Lord." But not in place of the Lord. Not in spite of the lord.

Nor does this mean that a wife has to put up with physical abuse or tolerate it toward her children. She has an obligation to protect them. If her husband is physically or sexually abusing her children, she needs to call the authorities and have him thrown in jail. Her highest responsibility is to the protection of her children.

She should use her head, of course. There is a distinct difference between a firm disciplinarian who may spank Biblically and a husband who abuses. A sting on the bottom might be exactly what that child needs at the moment, and it isn't abuse. Most people know the difference. But physical or sexual abuse is never acceptable. Get help quick in that situation. No wife should ever sit idly by as her children are hurt - NEVER! So learn the proper balance.

Submission is a general rule for wives. they are required to submit to their husbands. But the submission is always first to the lord.