Monday, May 11, 2009

Loving Your Wife as Your Own Body

In the last entry, we talked about the need for a husband's love to be a caring love. This was taught in Ephesians 5:28, "So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself." As we said, this assumes we love ourselves.

"Now wait a minute," some of you will say. "I sure don't love my body. I don't even like my body. I'm too short. I'm too tall. I'm not handsome enough. I'm out of shape and too fat, or too skinny. I'm getting too old and my body has lots of aches and pains. How can you say I love my body?"

No! No! No! I didn't say you were satisfied with your body; few ever are. I said you loved it. Psychologists tell us that even self-pity is really a form of self-love. You only say, Woe is me!" because you really love yourself. Otherwise, it wouldn't matter. What this is saying is that you won't intentionally hurt yourself or do harm to yourself. Exercise till it hurts? O, sure! No gain without pain. Allow a surgeon to cut into you? Sure! Because you know that the end result will be beneficial. Following the pain of surgery, you will be better.

But nobody deliberately pinches, punches, or cuts themselves for no reason. Nor will they starve themselves or sit out in the cold and the rain without shelter. Not if they are sane they won't. To cause yourself pain hurts you, and nobody wants to hurt.

Now throw in what we know about marriage from Ephesians 5:31, "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his own wife, and the two shall become one flesh." That, of course, is quoting from Genesis 2:24 - from the story of Adam and Eve. It is telling us about the joining in marriage of that first man and woman.

The point is, at marriage the husband and wife are joined together so closely that God considers them one flesh - one body, not two separate individuals - just as at salvation we are joined together with Christ as His body. In 1st Corinthians 6:17, it says, "But he who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with Him." As believers, we have a unity with Christ similar to the unity we have in marriage.

So the logic is, if your wife is as much a part of your body as your arm or your leg, or maybe your eye or your heart, you sure as shooting don't want to hurt her, do you? And men, if you do, I assure you that you will hurt. I'm not just talking, "If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!" There's no doubt that it is true, but this is getting at that third way in which Christ loves. His love for us is a caring love.

Look at Ephesians 4:29-30, "For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones." How is a man to care for his wife? The same way as he cares for his own body. He nourishes it and cherishes it. So that is how he must love his wife.

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