Living Happily Ever After

People have always loved fairy tales. Most fairy tales begin with, "Once upon a time," and usually end with, "and they lived happily ever after." We like that. We wish it were us. For the plot line, there is usually some variation of the tried and true tale of a beautiful maiden. She is truly an enchantress with flowing hair and eyes so deep you could get lost in them with rosy lips and a sculpted figure and a heart that is true and pure. But this beautiful maiden is unattainable for she is the prisoner of some evil power. She is locked away in a castle guarded by trolls, dragons, armies, secret spells, or whatever. Only a champion can win her, and only through mortal combat. Blood will be shed before this battle is over, but our hero will triumph. He defeats the foe, wins the beauty, and they "live happily ever after."

We love those stories. The most beloved tales in our history have been romantic fairy tales: Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella, Helen of Troy, Romeo and Juliet, Antony and Cleopatra, Arthur and Guinevere. Every young girl dreams of being that beautiful maiden waiting to be rescued. And every boy dreams of being that conquering hero who rescues her. God has placed those desires within each of us. This desire is what brings couples together. This is what causes the boy to pursue the girl - to fight for his beloved. And it causes the girl to want to be captured, all with the dream of living "happily ever after."

Ah, what a dream. So they stand at the altar and say their vows. And they promise to love and cherish one another through thick and thin, for richer and poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do them part.

Why is it then that ten years later, that same couple is wondering why they ever got married in the first place? Why does divorce start to look like a really good option? Why do most of us get lost somewhere between, "Once upon a time," and, "They lived happily ever after?" Isn't it true that most passionate romances seem to fade into spending evenings in front of the TV, or into some low level combat for control of the family finances?

What went wrong? Don Henley says, "We've been poisoned by the fairy tales," because, as he says, they are merely myths. He claims they present a false idea of life. Is that true? I suppose there is some basis for his comments in that life is not all romance. That's why we can't rely only on romantic love to get us through. Indeed, Gary Thomas writes, "Romantic love has no elasticity. It can never be stretched. It simply shatters." That's why we have spent time talking about the need for agape love - a love that is sacrificial - to get us through.

But I think Mr. Henley is wrong also about fairy tales. I tend to agree with John Eldridge, who says, "No, we have not been poisoned by fairy tales and they are not merely myths. Far from it. The truth is, we have not taken them seriously enough." What is he talking about? The point he is making is that husbands have forgotten the part about that dragon that guards the castle. We have forgotten that the battle for our wives doesn't end at the altar when we say, "I do," but that the battle continues throughout our lives. We have forgotten that in this life, the dragon is always there for us to battle. Yet so many husbands have stopped fighting for their beauty. They've laid down their swords.

That dragon, of course, is Satan. Revelation 12, which presents a short history of that great, cosmic battle raging between God and Satan, shows Satan being cast out of heaven taking a third of the angels with him and waiting to devout a male child (Jesus) that God sends to the woman (Israel), and failing to destroy Jesus, his fury is vented upon the woman. But that same fury is also vented on every other woman on earth. That dragon is identified in Revelation 12:9 this way, "So the great dragon was cast out, that serpent of old, called the devil and Satan, who deceives the whole world."

Yes, Satan, the serpent of old, is the dragon. The one who deceived Eve in the Garden of Eden is that same one who wants to destroy your marriage with his deceptive lines. He will use them to poison your relationship. "Your marriage isn't fulfilling enough," he will whisper. "Your differences are irreconcilable." "You could be happier with someone else." Those are all Satan's lies - lies intended to get you to lay down your sword and to stop fighting for your beloved. Yet people believe them all the time.

Most men don't even realize the battle is still going on. They think that once they've won their beauty, the fight is over. Yet, Satan works non-stop to destroy their relationship and to destroy their home. No wonder he wins so many battles and no wonder so many homes lie in ruin. As husbands, we must keep our sword sharp and unsheathed. We must continue the fight for our wives - yes, until the day we die. Are you willing to continue the fight for your wife?